I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
