the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
