My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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