Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
