so that wasnt chicken after all
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
