I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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