I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
