is your mom at the bar?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
