remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
