Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
