either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He felt like a one man threesome
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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