I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize