so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
