I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
