Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
