Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
