After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
