Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
