wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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