so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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