i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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