So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
