My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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