Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
