omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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