you have to choose: penises or morals?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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