Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
