EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
