i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
