I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
