Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
