so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
