Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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