I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
