So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
