Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
