Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
