You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
