I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
