Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
