Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
