I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
