That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
