I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
