thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
