Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
