"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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