my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
