his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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