Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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