6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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